I cant stand myself for being so weak. I want a pill to make me forget everything. A forget pill perhaps? Or a heart that won’t feel anything. This journey together, it consists of happy and sad times. I don't deny I'm upset almost all the time. But at times, I really felt like I'm the world most fortunate girl ever. But if given a chance, I hope I never meet you. Because the thought of you leaving me is so torturing. You will be the first and last guy I'd ever love so much and gave so much. You will be the last I give in all my effort. I reflected on myself, set time aside to think. This journey together, maybe because I haven't really tried to put myself in your shoes. I always think you must go with the flow, give in to the way I want, or want you to fit in my world. I tried changing myself to be the one you like, throwing aside the old me. There's still time I'll be the old me, but the truth is I'd changed. You liked game, but I disliked it. I enjoyed watching movies, drama and shows. That's the real difference between us, the big major problem that leads us to fight sometimes. I realised I'm selfish. I always want you to be the one I imagined, always want you to do things I wanted it to be like. I always like pushing all blames towards you, making you feel bad. But I came to realise, the one who's making all these terrible is me myself. I never really ever stand in your shoes and understand you. But, on contrary, you always did. You stand in my shoes, affording and sacrificing your time for me. Thank you baby, this time onwards, lets work together to make this journey last. Lets enjoy every good moment we have now and cherish each other. Lets start afresh :)

I realised what you need most was your friend's support when you're feeling down. You needed someone to be there for you. Unfortunately, no one was there for me, because I kept mum about it. There's two person I want to thank the most, Yuting and Shihao. Even though I kept mum about what's going on recently, they showed me their concern. By reading this little space of mine, my msn pm, facebook status, they knew what happened. Those little text messages you sent, be it long or short, it brightens my day. I need friends like them, sometimes I just felt it wasn't worthwhile. So much for being there for someone whom you actually cared, be there for the person no matter what, but when you're down, they are not there for you, not even a word of concern. That's the most devastating thing. Sometimes, when people are sad, nothing can really bring them back up right away. Not words, not good advice, or even the people around them trying to make them happy can’t make them happy just like that. We should never tell someone to just be happy and forget about what’s holding them down because we’re not dealing with the pain in their heart. It takes time and patience for someone to get back up. It’s not that easy. You wont understand how much they are torturing because you're not in their shoes. I thank the both of you sincerely for your sincere concern. Always by my side when I'm down. And although I disappoint you both with my stupidity, you both did not lecture me, and yet support my decision. Thanks for the support. I love you.